*** Watchtower 1988 March 1 pp.23-27 Responsible Childbearing in This Time of the End ***
Responsible Childbearing in This Time of the End
"Presiding in a fine manner over children."-1 TIMOTHY 3:12.
THE joy of parenthood is undeniable. The maternal instinct is natural,
although stronger in some women than in others. In many Western lands,
little boys are more interested in playing with mechanical toys, while
little girls generally prefer dolls, which toy makers strive to make as
realistic as possible. Many girls just live for the day when they will be
able to cuddle, not a doll, but their own live, warm, gurgling baby.
Joys and Responsibilities
2 Responsible childbearing requires parents to consider a newborn baby not
as a plaything but as a creature for whose life and future they are
accountable to the Creator. When they bring a child into the world, parents
must be prepared to take on a big responsibility and adjust accordingly.
They are embarking on a 20-year feeding, clothing, health-care, and
education program, with the end result unpredictable.
3 Happily, a great many Christian parents have raised children who have
become faithful, dedicated servants of Jehovah. Some have seen their
children grow up and enter the full-time service as pioneers, missionaries,
or Bethel family members. Of such parents it can truly be said: "The father
of a righteous one will without fail be joyful; the one becoming father to a
wise one will also rejoice in him. Your father and your mother will rejoice,
and she that gave birth to you will be joyful."-Proverbs 23:24, 25.
Parental Heartaches
4 But this is not always the case, even for elders who have children. The
apostle Paul wrote: "The overseer should therefore be irreprehensible, a
husband of one wife . . . a man presiding over his own household in a fine
manner, having children in subjection with all seriousness; (if indeed any
man does not know how to preside over his own household, how will he take
care of God's congregation?)" Paul added: "Let ministerial servants be
husbands of one wife, presiding in a fine manner over children and their own
households."-1 Timothy 3:2-5, 12.
5 Of course, Christian elders and
ministerial servants cannot be held responsible if their children, once of
age, refuse to continue serving Jehovah. But they
are responsible for their minor children and for older children who are
still living under their roof. Elders and ministerial servants have lost
precious privileges of service because they became negligent or failed
seriously to meet the Scriptural requirement of "presiding in a fine manner
over children and their own households." For such ones, and for
many others, their children brought them more
distress than joy. How often the proverb has proved true: "A
stupid son means adversities to his father"!-Proverbs 19:13.
Responsible Fatherhood
6 All Christian husbands, whether they have congregational responsibilities
or not, should also consider the effect that taking care of young children
could have on their wife's spirituality. If a wife
is not spiritually strong, how will a baby, or a number of babies, affect
her personal study and opportunities to share in the preaching work?
7 Do husbands always realize that taking care of a
baby or a young child often prevents their wives from getting full benefit
from the Congregation Book Study, Kingdom Hall meetings, circuit assemblies,
and district conventions? Such a situation can last for months,
and even years, when baby follows baby. It is in
the nature of things that the load, in this respect, falls mainly on the
mother, rather than on the father. It has sometimes been observed
that whereas some Christian men progress spiritually, even to the point of
being assigned privileges in the congregation, their
wives become spiritually weak. Why?
Often it is because their young children prevent the wives from
concentrating at meetings, doing deep Bible study, or sharing in a large
measure in the witnessing work. Can fatherhood be called
responsible if it permits such situations to develop?
8 Fortunately, this is not always the case. Many Christian fathers do their
utmost to share the load of looking after the children.
They take their full share in seeing that their
children remain quiet during congregation meetings. If their baby
starts to cry, or their child becomes boisterous, they in their turn will
take it outside for appropriate discipline.
Why should mother always be the one to lose parts of the meetings? At home,
considerate husbands help their wives with the chores and in getting the
children to bed so that husband and wife can sit down to concentrate quietly
on spiritual matters.
9 When things are properly organized in a congregation,
young mothers with babies can share in the auxiliary pioneer service. Some
are even regular pioneers. So children are not always a handicap.
Many Christian parents show a fine pioneer spirit.
Childless But Happy
10 Some young couples have decided to remain
childless. Although the wives had maternal instincts just as strong as those
in other women, they decided, in agreement with their husbands, to refrain
from having children in order to devote themselves to serving Jehovah
full-time. Many of them have served as pioneers or missionaries.
They can now look back over the years with
gratitude. To be sure, they have produced no fleshly children.
But they have produced new disciples who have continued faithfully
worshiping Jehovah. These 'genuine children in the faith' will never forget
who was instrumental in bringing them "the word of truth."-1 Timothy 1:2;
Ephesians 1:13; compare 1 Corinthians 4:14, 17; 1 John 2:1.
11 Many married couples throughout the world who
have relinquished the joys of parenthood have been able to serve Jehovah in
the circuit work, the district work, or at Bethel. These likewise
look back with satisfaction over their lives spent serving Jehovah and their
brothers in these special privileges. They have no
regrets. While they have not had the joy of bringing children
into the world, they have played a vital part in furthering Kingdom
interests in their various fields of activity. Of
all these couples who have remained childless "on account of the kingdom,"
the scripture is surely applicable that says: "God is not unrighteous so as
to forget your work and the love you showed for his name, in that you have
ministered to the holy ones and continue ministering."-Matthew 19:12;
Hebrews 6:10.
A Personal Matter
12 As we saw at the outset of this discussion, childbearing is a gift of
God. (Psalm 127:3) It is a unique privilege that is not shared by Jehovah's
spirit creatures. (Matthew 22:30) There have been times when the bearing of
children formed part of the work that Jehovah assigned to his servants on
earth. This was the case with Adam and Eve. (Genesis 1:28) It was true of
the Flood survivors. (Genesis 9:1) Jehovah willed that the sons of Israel
should become numerous through childbearing.-Genesis 46:1-3; Exodus 1:7, 20;
Deuteronomy 1:10.
13 Today, childbearing is not specifically a part
of the work Jehovah has committed to his people. Nevertheless, it
is still a privilege that he grants to married people if they desire it.
Christian couples who decide to start a family
should not, therefore, be criticized; neither should couples who refrain
from having children.
14 So the matter of childbearing in this time of
the end is a personal one that each couple must decide for itself. However,
since "the time left is reduced," married couples would do well to weigh
carefully and prayerfully the pros and cons of childbearing in these times.
(1 Corinthians 7:29) Those who do choose to have children should
be fully aware not only of the joys childbearing can bring but also of the
responsibilities involved and the problems that can arise for them and the
children they bring into the world.
When Unplanned
15 Some may say: 'That's all very well, but what if a child comes along
unexpectedly?' This has happened to many couples who were fully aware of the
fact that this is not the ideal time to bring children into the world. Some
of them had been in the full-time service for years. How should they view
the arrival of the unexpected newcomer?
16 This is where responsible parenthood comes into play. True, a pregnancy
might be unexpected, but the baby that comes along cannot be considered
unwanted by Christian parents. Whatever changes its arrival might bring
about in their lives, they should certainly not feel resentment toward it.
After all, they were responsible for its conception. Now that it is here,
they should accept their changed situation, knowing that, in one way or
another, "time and unforeseen occurrence befall" all humans. (Ecclesiastes
9:11) Willingly or not, they have taken part in a creative act of which
Jehovah God is the Author. They should accept their child as a sacred trust
and lovingly assume their responsibilities as "parents in union with the
Lord."-Ephesians 6:1.
"Do Everything in the Name of the Lord"
17 Just before he gave counsel on family matters, the apostle Paul wrote:
"Whatever it is that you do in word or in work, do everything in the name of
the Lord Jesus, thanking God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:17-21)
Whatever state a Christian may find himself in, he should be thankful to
Jehovah and take advantage of his situation to "do everything in the name of
the Lord."
18 The Christian who has chosen to remain single will use his or her
freedom, not for self-indulgence, but to work "whole-souled as to Jehovah,"
if possible in some form of full-time service. (Colossians 3:23; 1
Corinthians 7:32) Similarly, a married couple who
decide to refrain from having children will not selfishly 'make use of the
world to the full' but will give Kingdom service the largest possible place
in their lives.-1 Corinthians 7:29-31.
19 As for Christians who have children, they should accept their parenthood
in a responsible way. Far from looking upon their children as a hindrance to
serving Jehovah, they should consider them as a special assignment. What
will this entail? Well, when a dedicated Christian meets someone who shows
an interest in the truth, he starts a regular home Bible study with that
one. Having started the study, the Witness is very diligent, returning week
after week in order to help the interested one to make spiritual progress.
Nothing less is needed in the case of a Christian's children. A regular,
well-thought-out Bible study, starting as soon as possible and held on a
regular basis, is needed to help the youngster to grow spiritually and to
learn to love his Creator. (2 Timothy 3:14, 15) Additionally, parents will
be careful to set a good example of Christian conduct in the home, just as
they do in the Kingdom Hall. And where possible they will take the
responsibility of training their children in the field service. In this way,
in addition to preaching to other adults, parents will seek, with Jehovah's
help, to "make disciples" of their own children.-Matthew 28:19.
Children During the "Great Tribulation"
20 Ahead of us is the "great tribulation
such as has not occurred since the world's beginning until now, no, nor will
occur again." (Matthew 24:21) It will be a
difficult time for adults and children alike. In his prophecy on
the conclusion of the present system of things, Jesus foretold that
Christian truth would divide families. He stated: "Furthermore, brother will
deliver brother over to death, and a father a child, and children will rise
up against parents and have them put to death." (Mark 13:12)
Obviously, rearing children in the time of the end
would not always be a pure joy. It could bring heartbreak, disappointment,
and even danger, as Jesus' words quoted above show.
21 But while being realistic about the difficulties ahead, those who have
young children should not be unduly concerned about the future.
If they remain faithful themselves and do their
best to bring up their children "in the discipline and mental-regulating of
Jehovah," they can be confident that their obedient children will be
favorably considered. (Ephesians 6:4; compare 1 Corinthians
7:14.) As part of the "great crowd," they and their young children can hope
to survive "the great tribulation." If such children grow up to be faithful
servants of Jehovah, they will be eternally thankful to him that they had
responsible parents.-Revelation 7:9, 14; Proverbs 4:1, 3, 10.
Review Questions
• What long-term program does the birth of a child involve?
• Why have some elders and ministerial servants lost their privileges?
• What factors should a Christian husband consider with regard to his wife's
becoming pregnant?
• What proves that a Christian couple can be childless and happy?
• How should the birth of a child be considered by the parents, and why do
they not have to be unduly concerned about the future?
[Picture on page 24]
Fathers can share the responsibility of keeping
children quiet during meetings
[Emphasis Added]
